Modern women dating
Some single people have opted to stop dating because they no longer have the stomach to fortify themselves against ghosting, withering critiques and rough treatment.There is an opportunity cost to all of us for these withdrawals.Flailing about isn’t excusable because one is confused. I’ve found myself on dates put off by something small and thinking, “well, I have other men lined up.” And it’s true, the pipeline is always full.If I were to speed and injure someone as a result no one would question my responsibility. I suspect the majority of hurtful and demeaning behaviors are perpetuated by people who think they did the best they could, shrug their shoulders, and never stop to examine their wake. Dating should be approached with at least as much thought as planning a vacation or training a pet. This mindset has resulted in an incredible amount of dates but not many relationships.The romance ended entirely when he sent me an email that included several paragraphs meant for another woman (how does that happen? A good lesson that the appearance of sensitivity is not the same as actual care for another person. In one instance I felt drug along by my collar and deposited by the side of the road.On second thought we’ll just leave that idiot move a mystery). In a twist I couldn’t have predicted the executive adhered to the campfire rule and left me in better condition than he found me. In the other I walked away intact, with a positive impact on my well-being, ready to be vulnerable again to another person.
Now when I meet someone I think has potential, I turn off my access to other dates. People deserve the opportunity to blossom in their own space.
One was a hands-on Father of three, regular (but not sanctimonious) church-goer, owner of two sweet but smelly dogs, collected art, read the New York Times, and teared up at poignant, love songs.
The other was a bright, swaggering executive seemingly pre-occupied with sexual conquest, and sporting a self-admitted vain streak.
Why does it matter how we end relationships with people we no longer want?
After all, we are throwing the fish back into the water to live out its life without our interference. Leaving another person intact strengthens our own courage and self-worth, then pays it forward.